Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Still Going

Still Here

Yes, I am still here! And, I had no idea my audience had extended as far as it has; thank you! You know that poem about the footprints in the sand? When I look back at 2011, I don't just see one set of footprints -- I see thousands, from all of you helping to lift me up! Your love is amazing.

When I first set out to write this blog, I wanted to focus primarily on hiking and the mountains. But for two years now (keep in mind the prognosis is 4-6 wk without treatment and 6 mo with treatment; I just passed the 2-yr mark since mets made it to my brain), it's just been about fighting metastasis to the brain a la whack-a-mole.

It has been, in a word, grueling. Repeatedly fighting metastasis to the brain has been the hardest thing for me to endure. Here's a brief recap of what's been going on: in November, I traveled for a couple of weeks to undergo Cyberknife to a cancerous lesion on my spinal cord at the base of the brain/C1 level. The daily travel and treatment ended just before Thanksgiving, so you can imagine what our life is like as a family (TOUGH!). I then focused on making it a good Christmas for our family; and although I was puny, I enjoyed all the company and love. I especially was excited to meet our Great-Neice for the very first time!

I feel 2012 is going to be a good year, perhaps one in which I will enjoy blissful stability/remission -- but it hasn't started off that way! My mother thinks something BIG must be coming, 'cause I sure am getting stymied at almost every turn. From ridiculous insurance issues to breaking imaging machinery to RUDE RUDE RUDE public encounters, I have had just about everything rear its ugly head trying to make me want to JUST GIVE UP.

Well, I am NOT going to give up. I am not even going to get CLOSE to giving up! I am going to fight and fight and fight until cancer understands IT IS DONE, ONCE and FOR ALL!
Well, that's as far as I got before the laptop battery died and the endless rounds of appointments took over my life again. Picking up my train of thought is getting harder to do these days, so I'll just go ahead and get this much posted. Instead of trail reports, I'll just have to settle for little posts about trailblazing through mets to the brain and leptomeningeal carcinoma.


Ayesha said...

well thank God you are back...never give up as i am just so inspired by mom is also suffering from leptomeningeal carcinomatosis and you give me so much hope..thank you..May God bless you and keep you in His care and May He cure you and my mom from this ugly and evil disease forever..

Joan Flores said...

I'm so glad you are back! You are an inspiration to me.